A LITTLE BIT OF SELF LOVE GOES A LONG WAY

To experience true love, you must first have self-love! Falling in love with your essence, your skin, your features, texture, and all the amazing things that make you unique, should always be honored and applauded by you. At the same time, never being afraid to embrace and accept all

your imperfections and every flaw that you possess is also a form of self-love.

Historically, as black women, our very existence have often been dehumanized and conditioned to accept that western features are the standards of beauty. The closer your skin hue is to whiteness the more desirable you are. Colorism continues to plague our communities, which creates a divide between black women. This superficial superiority complex that perpetuates that “lighter hues” is more aesthetically attractive than “black and brown” hues only create exclusion that hinders the confidence and self-image of black women. It reinforces our unworthiness in society and strips us of our humanity.

I remember as a kid learning about the “Clark doll test” which observes the biases and racial perceptions among children during the height of segregation. That test was quite profound in how children associate positive attributes to “white skin” and negative attributes with “black skin”. This was an eye-opening moment that reaffirmed how racism and colorism is taught at a young age, to the point where even babies knew who was valued more in society.

The intentionality of practicing self-love in such a radical manner is truly an act of war. We teach society and others how to treat us simply by how we treat and love ourselves. By adapting habits that enable us to be gentle with ourselves, to reaffirm our own standards, and accept our diversity, we unintentionally give others permission for them to love themselves and step into their confidence as well. In recent years, the resurgent of black women loving their natural hair textures and amplifying the “black girls magic” wave has become inspiring and empowering to us all.

As a biracial black woman, the older I get the more I accept my imperfections because it means I’m human. I’ve learned to appreciate my flaws, acknowledge my differences, and give myself grace on my own self-love journey. For me the true act of self-love has been being kinder to myself and giving myself the unconditional love that I often give those I care about.

My wish for all my sistas is to continue counteracting the negative notions and stereotypes that exist against black women. Being comfortable in exploring and appreciating our many facets, embracing our authenticity, and flexing our badass auras!