UNLEARNING "THE STRONG BLACK WOMAN" ARCHETYPE!

I’ve been fortunate to have come from a long line of dynamic matriarchs who I admire greatly for their strength, wisdom, and assertive nature especially when you come from a culture that often silence women by undermining our traumas, voices, emotions, and experiences. The background of having these fearless sheroes, has afforded me the inspiration and the fuel that I need to keep moving forward with my life no matter what challenges are thrown my way and unjust obstacles I may endure. The opportunity to draw from their strength through the process of deep reflection and introspection have set the tone on how I choose to react and respond to certain growing pains in life.

While being strong and resilient seems to be a part of most black women’s DNA and has become a birth right for us, through a healing journey, you discover how much being viewed as “strong,” while it is admirable, it can also be burdensome and harmful as it forces black women to conceal their inner traumas. As black women, we are expected to never show signs of weaknesses, being vulnerable is frowned upon, and most of us probably wouldn’t dare shed a tear out of fear of being looked upon as fragile to those who seek to take advantage of us. We are never afforded the opportunity to experience the full gambit of our emotions compare to our white counterparts. When you are faced with microaggression on a daily basis as a black woman, your strength becomes your instinctive go to protection tool as that’s all you’ve ever known.

To be a part of “Black Womanhood”, it seems we are expected to always embody a survival mode superpower no matter what.

As I reflect deeper on our foremothers and ancestor's own experiences during slavery, segregation, colonialism, civil unrest, racism, and systematic poverty etc., I can’t help but think about their own mental health and emotional suffrage. While I pay homage to their immense resilience, there’s a need for us to truly reflect on and process these historical traumas. By black women always exhibiting being the “pillar of strength” and the “backbone” for our communities and families, it puts us in positions for our feelings and lived experiences to never be prioritized but rather diminished, neglected, disrespected, and undermined. When all people see in you is "strength", others feel justified in how they treat you because after all the perception is that “black women are strong enough to take it”. Just because we are strong and resilient, it doesn’t mean we aren’t humans too.

Being a black woman is a magical experience that I wouldn’t ever trade, but I challenge us all to begin unlearning and deprogramming the idea that we always have to be the “strong black woman”. As we start to explore our self-care journey, there’s a level of great empowerment that comes with being vulnerable, honest about our experiences, and self-realization on how to heal our ancestral traumas.

No longer will we silence ourselves; our focus will now be to never pour from an empty cup. To ensure this, we must be vigilant in caring for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.

It’s time we create safe spaces to freely discuss our journey, no matter how difficult that may be.

BLACK WOMEN HEALING MATTERS!

Xoxo,

@Blackgirlsnamaste

ALL MY SISTAS TIRED, A SELF-CARE REALIZATION!

As a woman of color, my intentionality to constantly elevate and self-improve is critical to mitigating and sustaining the needs of my higher self.

I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends, as we begin to dive deeper into our faith, goals for the year, and spiritual journey, she mentioned how this year is going to be “personal” for her, meaning---this is the year she dedicates and invest time focusing on her overall happiness and wellbeing, as previous years were spent pouring from an empty cup into everyone else.

Truth is all my SISTAS are tired! As black women it seems like we bear the brunt of the world. From the anxiousness that our daily hustle and bustle bring, to being a part of companies that try us on every single level, sometimes, forcing us to count to ten in order to maintain our professionalism, because in a hot second, we might want to code-switch and put:

‘Katy” in her place, because one thing for sure and two things for certain “Katy’s about to utilize her white privilege to one up us.

And on the personal front, most times we find ourselves as single parents being solely responsible for our children while being exhausted from the structural and systematic barriers we face. And I’m right there with my SISTAS! WE ARE ALL TIRED! And because we often do not have the luxury to sit back and invest in our wellbeing due to everyone depending on us to care and show up for them, we tend to turn to maladaptive coping mechanisms which only becomes a detriment to our mental health and emotional state. It’s time we do away with these negative stereotypes and unrealistic expectations that others place on us.

This year as black women, we are going to be ‘SELFISH”, not in a negative way, but rather, we are going to choose to prioritize our needs, our experiences, we are going to explore the depth of our wounds, unlearn negative behavioral patterns, utilize those vacation days, turn our emails off, do away with generational curses, and damnit we deserve to Take A REST!! And don’t count on us either to be your sounding board, emotional reservoir, & dumping ground, because from our hearts to our bodies, and spirits we are investing in our self-care.

As we have conclude women's history month, what an opportunity this presents to truly examine radical self-improvement ways in which Black women can heal ourselves and feel supported, uplifted, and rejuvenated. The truth is, we owe ourselves to care for ourselves! As my good sis Audre Lorde once said: “Caring for myself, is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare,” And Queen Lorde ain’t said nothing but a word. While many people associate self-care practices with flashy things and or the finer things in life (to each her own), it’s important to also understand that selfcare isn’t a one-off experience but rather it should be a concentrated effort that you can adapt into your daily routine. Your self-care practices can be something as simple and inexpensive as reading a great self-healing book, journaling, and using guided meditations to quiet your mind and center your life.

We are breaking emotional barriers, no longer ridicule with fear and we are stepping into our highest level of self-worth with a whole lot of confidence and sass. Can the saints give me an Amen!!

It’s time we are intentional in truly discovering what self-love means for us all. especially if we are going to inspire the next generation ---our little black and brown girls who look up to us, as we instill the importance of their own radical self-care ---- this is the great equalizer in living a fulfilled and enriched life.

As we actively choose to prioritize ourselves, we activate the strengths of our foremothers, sheroes, and ancestors!

Xoxo,

@Blackgirlsnamaste