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I’ve been fortunate to have come from a long line of dynamic matriarchs who I admire greatly for their strength, wisdom, and assertive nature especially when you come from a culture that often silence women by undermining our traumas, voices, emotions, and experiences. The background of having these fearless sheroes, has afforded me the inspiration and the fuel that I need to keep moving forward with my life no matter what challenges are thrown my way and unjust obstacles I may endure. The opportunity to draw from their strength through the process of deep reflection and introspection have set the tone on how I choose to react and respond to certain growing pains in life.
While being strong and resilient seems to be a part of most black women’s DNA and has become a birth right for us, through a healing journey, you discover how much being viewed as “strong,” while it is admirable, it can also be burdensome and harmful as it forces black women to conceal their inner traumas. As black women, we are expected to never show signs of weaknesses, being vulnerable is frowned upon, and most of us probably wouldn’t dare shed a tear out of fear of being looked upon as fragile to those who seek to take advantage of us. We are never afforded the opportunity to experience the full gambit of our emotions compare to our white counterparts. When you are faced with microaggression on a daily basis as a black woman, your strength becomes your instinctive go to protection tool as that’s all you’ve ever known.
To be a part of “Black Womanhood”, it seems we are expected to always embody a survival mode superpower no matter what.
As I reflect deeper on our foremothers and ancestor's own experiences during slavery, segregation, colonialism, civil unrest, racism, and systematic poverty etc., I can’t help but think about their own mental health and emotional suffrage. While I pay homage to their immense resilience, there’s a need for us to truly reflect on and process these historical traumas. By black women always exhibiting being the “pillar of strength” and the “backbone” for our communities and families, it puts us in positions for our feelings and lived experiences to never be prioritized but rather diminished, neglected, disrespected, and undermined. When all people see in you is "strength", others feel justified in how they treat you because after all the perception is that “black women are strong enough to take it”. Just because we are strong and resilient, it doesn’t mean we aren’t humans too.
Being a black woman is a magical experience that I wouldn’t ever trade, but I challenge us all to begin unlearning and deprogramming the idea that we always have to be the “strong black woman”. As we start to explore our self-care journey, there’s a level of great empowerment that comes with being vulnerable, honest about our experiences, and self-realization on how to heal our ancestral traumas.
No longer will we silence ourselves; our focus will now be to never pour from an empty cup. To ensure this, we must be vigilant in caring for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.
It’s time we create safe spaces to freely discuss our journey, no matter how difficult that may be.
BLACK WOMEN HEALING MATTERS!
